As our parents age, their physical abilities and overall well being often change, especially if they have certain medical issues or mobility limitations. While it would be great if we could care for our elderly parents full-time, the reality is that most of us don’t have the medical expertise or time required to provide the level of care they need.
If you think it’s time
to have the conversation about moving your parent into an assisted living community,
we’ve put together this list of five helpful communication tactics to support
you in the process. It’s normal to receive some resistance from your parent
when first bringing up the idea. However, with love, patience, and a little bit
of advice from our team of experts, you’ll be able to make the best choice for
your loved one and your family.
Plant the seed early.
We recommend having
the assisted living conversation with your elderly parent well ahead of when
the need arises. It’s an emotional topic for many of us, and normalizing it
through family discussions will make the transition easier when the time comes.
Don’t position it as if you’ve already made the decision on their behalf – it’s
important for your mom or dad to feel as if they’re in control of their own
choices.
Do your research.
Make a list of
assisted living communities in your area, and ask your loved one if they’d like
to join you for some tours. It’s likely they’ll be resistant at first, and if
that’s the case, don’t get discouraged. Pushing them will likely result in them
growing even more resistant to the idea, so simply wait a few weeks then
suggest it again.
Highlight the benefits.
Many older adults feel
that moving into assisted
living means losing their independence, when in fact the opposite is
true. Many of the benefits your parent will enjoy, like help with cleaning,
chores, and meal preparation, will leave them more time to focus on
hobbies they love. They’ll also have assistance with their medications, more
time to themselves or to socialize with fellow residents, and around-the-clock
access to nurses and medical care if needed.
Let it all sink in.
As the old saying
goes, “time heals all wounds.” People need time to reflect on big changes in
their lives, especially emotional decisions like this. Give them time to
process their feelings. Also, make it clear that you’re always there if they
want to talk things through again in order to feel more secure with the
decision.
Arrange a family meeting.
While we don’t
recommend anything serious like an intervention, we do think it can be
beneficial to have a casual family get-together where everyone can talk through
the decision together. Give your parent a chance to express their concerns, and
be empathetic to their worries. Allow your other family members to share their
opinions, as well. Hearing their children’s thoughts, and learning how much
better they’d feel if they knew mom or dad was in a safe assisted living
community instead of living on their own, can help your mom or dad
adjust to the idea.
Having peace of mind
is essential, and your parent’s well-being is of the utmost importance. If you
need support to foster the assisted living conversation with mom or dad, please contact our team at UMC today.
To learn more
about our assisted living
communities across New Jersey, please visit our website at: https://umcommunities.org
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